Chasing Away the Rain
by yami1234
Summary: As a storm rages outside, Hawke awakens in the middle of the night, to find Fenris trapped in a nightmare. Even free, his past cannot seem to let him go. Desperate to do anything to help, she tries to give him solace, in that he is not alone. But how can you help someone who is determined to fight alone?


**So some might notice that this story was here before, however, it was not until it was published, that I realized the wrong document had been uploaded. Its been awhile since Ive created a decent fan fiction, though I will admit, this is my first attempt at a video game genre.**

 **This is my first Dragon Age story, however all characters belong to the rightful owners.**

 **Enjoy.**

" _Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder._

 _Benjamin Saenz_

Quietness. Stillness. Darkness. Black hallowed shadows lingered, only abated against the small glow of the flame, burning softly in the hearth of stones on the other side of the dreary room. Outside a deep rumble sounded in the distance, the once clear night sky slowly becoming overcome with thick rolling clouds. As the last small star was casted aside, the atmosphere tensed, shifting ever so calmly unknowing to the now sleeping city. Another rumble of thunder roared, closer, but not intimidating. It was then, that a cold wet liquid began to drop from the ominous clouds, patting softly against window panes. A once calm and soundless night was now engorged by the swells of an unforeseen storm.

My eyes opened slowly, the tranquility of the room remaining as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I blinked, once… twice… three times before my senses kicked in. Above the soft crackle of the wood upon the fire, the heavy pounding of rain hit the window. In the distance, my ears could make out the approaching roar of thunder. A long stretched storm upon which I had awoken was merely at the beginning. As my senses accustomed to the room around me, I sighed, wondering if it had been the rain that had awoken me. Such a common occurrence did not normally wake me.

However, despite the noise, an odd and forlorn sensation coursed through me, my body honing in on something else that had seemed wrong.

I groaned to myself rubbing my face not remembering any nightmares of my own that could have been behind it. No, tonight in fact, I had been granted with the sweet gift of experiencing an evening filled with a dreamless sleep. I smiled softly to myself. It was rare that I had gone a night without being awoken to the sound of my own screams. In fact, the night had been pretty quiet for the both of us.

I paused at the thought glancing to the side of the bed where he usually was. It took a half second to realize that he wasn't there. I sat up looking around the room in worry before stopping seeing him standing with his back towards me by the fire. That would explain why the night had been so oddly quiet.

 _Nightmares._

"Fenris?" I asked only to get no response.

My heart dropped to my stomach watching him.

"Not again…" I whispered before pushing down the blankets and moving to stand up, anxiety and apprehension coursing through me.

"Fenris…" I whispered lowly, not wanting to startle him, as I slowly approached.

From the corner of my gaze I could see the clenched hand at his side relax slightly and I took that gesture as an initiation that it was safe to approach. I said nothing as I walked inaudibly behind him feeling my heart tighten in sadness. I lingered a few moments there, close enough to hear his unsteady breaths, before raising my hand to the top of his arm. As gently as I could, in a reassuring familiarity, I glided it down, tracing the bands of lyrium, before letting my open palm come to rest at the bottom of his own fisted hand. An open gesture. I let it remain there, not pushing and not coaxing. I would let him tell me when he was ready.

A few minutes flickered by, as my gaze made its way from him to the small flame. Time itself seemed to have slowed down. I could still hear the heavy rain falling against the window, a dreading remainder to the atmosphere in the room. I bit my lip refusing to let free the tears that I could feel burning in the back of my eyes. He needed me and I rejected giving in to my own weakness for fear that such an action would push him further away. I didn't dare get my hopes up now though, as the time continued.

In these infrequent instances, in nights like these, where nightmares of his past flared, rarely was there anything I could do to pull him away. Rarely was there the opportunity to try and do so. I knew, even after all this time, this was something he had refused to let me in on… denied help. Something he willed himself to battle alone, completely alone. And from past experiences, I've learned to not push for both our safeties.

My hand lowered away from his. He had once again chosen to fight alone. Feeling a ragged breath escape my own mouth, I slowly lowered my forehead to the back of his shoulder. While he had seemed to discard my support, I refused to step away. On some level I was determined to let him know I was still here. Though he was in front of me, though his heart was beating strong, his mind, his eyes were far away, locked in a time in which I had never seen. They played a period in which I could never even fathom, spun dark memories into nightmares, hellish flickers of a past, which he had long escaped from. I closed my eyes, letting my head remain in the position I had placed it. A part of me had known this was too good to be true. That despite all we have overcome, that he has overcome, the past would always linger, its horrendous tendrils wrapped around his very soul, rooting him in a place he could never truly escape from.

My mind drifted to another memory, one that had seemed to be so long ago, but in my subconscious, knew it had only been a few short weeks. A time in which nights like these, appeared faded and unreal.

 _We were walking back from the Tavern, a late hot night, spent drinking and laughing with friends upon whom had become like family. After several rounds of cards and endless bottles of alcohol, each of us had stumbled out, laughing and content, as we made our ways home. Even in my half drunken state, I could still remember the heat from his body as his arm held tight around my waist, curling me to his side. It was one of these rare times, in which he had let his guard down and I drank it up like a flower soaking up the sunlight. Glancing up at him I could see his gaze watching the skies quietly, a small forced smile lighting his face. I glanced up as well wondering what it was he was so mesmerized by. Nothing looked different, nothing appeared out of place. It was simply the same night sky that always loomed over us. My eyes drifted back down to him, now noting that we had stopped walking._

 _I paused my body tensing as my head turned to scan the area, anticipating someone, however, as my gaze swept over around us, I could make out no one. We were but the only ones out amongst the closed shops and towering buildings._

 _I blinked puzzled before I felt his grip on me tighten. He was silent as I glimpsed at him, again confused. I was about to question his sudden behaviors but stopped as he beat me to it._

" _No matter where I go, it's always the same…." I heard him say quietly._

" _I don't… follow…" I replied growing concerned as the smile on his face became replaced with a blank expression, his eyes slipping close as a soft sigh escaped his lips._

 _He was still again for a few moments, my gaze holding his face. Finally his eyes opened, looking back up into the darkness._

" _The skies are always the same… no matter where I am…" He explained. I was about to state that it was because it was the same sky no matter where, but I stopped, sensing there was an underlying reason he had stated something so obvious._

" _Before I left Minrathous…" He began then stopped another sigh coming from his lips as he shook his head._

" _Before I left… I used to look out the windows at night… and I had often wondered… if the skies were different that the ones I saw in that vile city…" He explained. "But when I escaped… even now… they still look the same. Nothing about it has improved. Even now as I look up, after all this time, it still is so dark and empty. "_

 _I froze, silent, unable to speak. He barely spoke about his past and often out right repudiated to answer any when someone questioned. I wasn't sure why he was telling me this now or what provoked it, but I wasn't going to question it. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but still, as I watched him, nothing came out. I closed my mouth, licking my lips that suddenly felt dry. His eyes squinted towards mine when I didn't respond. The gaze held there for a moment unreadable, before they darted away, a look of remorse flashing. I frowned at the reaction._

" _Sorry… I did not mean to bring up such a topic. It is not a way to end tonight…" He said moving to take a step forward, acting as though the statement was never uttered. "Forget I said anything." He added with a shrug. I felt his grip on me loosen as he moved, his hand dropping to grasp my hand._

 _I shook my head rapidly, my mind swiftly reeling as I gripped his hand tightly pulling his arm back. He stopped peering back at me, his eyes tight and guarded. Still gripping his hand, I stepped towards him, confidence rising in me as I rested my forehead against his chest._

" _Hawke…" He whispered unsure as a smile came to my face. Pulling my head away I raised my free hand, settling it on his cheek. Without a second to hesitate, I strode closer bringing my lips to his. Feeling his body go stiff at the gesture, I remained firm not pulling away. In an instant I felt his body relax, promptly returning the kiss. After a few moments I pulled away, my grin returning as I saw his eyes open._

" _Look again.…." I stated. His eyes held mine, briefly before he obligated, gazing up._

" _It looks different to me…" I said._

 _Gradually I saw the realization flood his eyes and all at once a soft smile appeared._

" _Your right… I do suppose it looks different now…" He responded, pulling me close against him at his own statement._

 _My smile grew larger as I lent in to capture his lips with mine again, enfolding my arms around his neck. All at once the abrupt tense atmosphere had snapped like a…_ twig.

My eyes cracked open as I pulled my head away, looking towards the flames as another twig crackled, the flame almost nothing more than embers now. Taking a deep breath, I cautiously pulled away from him, his posture hadn't shifted. Walking over to the fireplace, I picked up the stick leaning against the wall poking it. Kneeling down in front of the dying flames, I added another log to it, releasing gently the breath I had been holding. Embers sputtered upward as the log settled in, catching hold of the dying embers.

"Rising from the ashes…." I whispered to myself.

Such a simple thing had no meaning to me, but the more time I spent with him, I began to notice that the things in which I found meaningless before, now was viewed at with much more appreciation. Even something as simple as a rekindled fire, struck me with awe. It was a reminder in a way of overcoming the impossible, of bouncing back, of moving forward. I rubbed my face, beginning to wonder if this was truly my mind speaking or if it was merely a result of sleep deprivation.

As the flame grew stronger, I sat down. My head turned glancing once more at Fenris, the worry rising again in me, clenching tightly around my heart. While his eyes danced with the reflection of the flame, his mind was still trapped in a memory he couldn't shake. I frowned, watching quietly, knowing it was going to be a long night, but I was determined, no matter how much he would protest later for it, to be here when he finally came back to me. I was determined to let him know I was still here, that he wasn't alone.

 **Well that was the end of chapter 1. Stay tuned for chapter 2!**

 **And as always, comments are appreciated!**


End file.
